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July 28, 2005

We have some spokesbeings for you...

Alcohol Makers Ordered To Fire Brad Pitt, Hire "Overweight, Middle-Aged, Balding" Men For Ads...:

Has George Clooney sold his last Martini? Will macho heart-throbs never again seduce women into taking another glass?

Drinks companies have been ordered to hire paunchy, balding men for advertisements to meet new rules forbidding any link between women's drinking and sex. Watchdogs have issued a list of undesirable male characteristics that advertisers must abide by in order to comply with tougher rules designed to separate alcohol from sexual success.

Luckily, nobody who drinks here has any particular sex appeal. Mister Gaunt does, but that's got damn little to do with his drinking. Okay, and BlacJacMac, but Goddess will flambe him if he gets caught stepping out of line. And Bob's cute, not sexy. So you can have anyone else in here as your spokesperson.

Oh, wait, you can't put me in either. Not because of my rugged good looks, but Mr. Gaunt has a policy about endorsements. Yeah. That sounds good.

Posted by Gordon Munden at July 28, 2005 05:03 AM

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